Forget about the life I use to know
by SleeplessDreaming
Summary: This is a twisted vamp fic. TsuzukiHisoka TsuzukiMuraki
1. Hardly Listening

This is a Yami no Matsuei/Descendants of Darkness Fan fiction, don't own the series.

* * *

_Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead  
yesterday is a promise that you've broken  
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes  
this is your life and today is all you've got now  
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes_

_this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose_

_yesterday is a kid in the corner  
yesterday is dead and over_

_this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose_

_don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes_

_this is your life are you who you want to be  
this is your life are you who you want to be_

_this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose_

_and you had everything to lose_

_"This is your life" by Switchfoot_

**Forget about the life I use to know**

**Chapter one**

**Hardly listening**

Date 1814, July 8

Maybe I should have fought against him that night, maybe I should have actually done something to keep my heart from stopping. But in the end, I didn't even scream. It wouldn't have made much of a difference though. If I actually did do anything that day, he would have killed me on the spot, because no matter how 'precious' I am to him. He has an eternity to live; he could find another like me.

I remember when I first opened my eyes, in the coffin, wooden of course, for my family was poor. My father made coffins for a living. To make maters worse he even dug their graves. I could never understand how he could stand it. 'Rain or shine' was his policy, but of course we could never afford to back down from work. Even though my parents sent me to a prestige language's school in England, I remained loyal to Japan, and its people. When I came back I had learned that my home any my family had been destroyed. Saying we were traitors and that we should all be killed. I escaped that fate, but to what end I don't know.

When I returned to Great Britain, I felt hollow. A shell with no meaning to live. Nor did I have a place to go. I was completely alone and terribly terrified of what I would do. Then came the drinking, and I had my fill of prostitutes and whores, most not even wanting money, 'just the sex' was all they said. Why they did that went beyond me. Wasn't prostitution a way of making money to feed families and to keep of the streets? I guess it wasn't, not for them.

One night I had drunk myself so silly that my head felt like it would pop, I became utterly lost wandering the streets with no guidance. Then I saw him, in a black pare of slacks and a white button up shirt. He offered me a place to stay, led me to an alley, and that's were my life changed.

As I said the coffin was the most frightening thing ever, apparently my family had left me some savings when they had died, in an English bank no less. My father also handcrafted my own coffin before he died. What struck me was why he made a coffin for a 24-year-old man. I am rambling know, anyway when I opened my eyes I didn't know what was happening; first I scratched and cried for someone to help me. Then I punched my way through getting a mouthful of dirt. When I finally dug my way out he was there, sitting on my gravestone. Smiling that devilish smile.

In a way I suppose he saved me from becoming a drunkard.

At present we are going around Asia to find some 'better' blood then skanks. I would rather go somewhere isolated. For I was born with the 'Dark gift' to read others mind. More or less its horrid and annoying, I hate my own thoughts, much less other people inquiries.

I suppose I shall end it here.

Asato, Tsuzuki

Translated from original text, entry 200 0f 215. Diary of Tsuzuki Asato, Birth in 1790, died in 1814 A.D, July 6. Owned by the supernatural department agency of Canadian History.

* * *

He lay there, the sheets tangled in his legs as he gazed out into nothing, the cloths he wore were thin for the heat, a white sleeveless hung on his thin frame with a white pare of loose fitting boxer shorts to match, but what difference did it make to him, all his blood froze up a long time ago. The warm wind splayed over his soft features and pushed his tresses up slightly. The window to his room lay open letting in the annoying lights and sounds. People screaming because they're being mugged, people laughing, celebrating some meaningless corporate standard they reached. All these things rattled in his head, his sensitive hearing picking up everything, every meaningless piece of shit that people talked about, he was even plagued with the dark gift to read others minds, which just made his life worse. He was never able to just be, no sounds no ruckus. Oh sure, he could try and turn of his gift, but his hearing would just pick up the rest. "It was much better in the Himalayas," he sighed to himself and turned on his side. He had no future to look forward to so why should he care, its not like there's some big shiny pot of gold at the end of his rainbow. No, that pot had been taken away, and the rainbow had faded a long time ago.

As he stared out the window he could see prostitutes, whores, woman with no self-respect for themselves or others, He could see muggers, dirty cops, killers, and all the scum that made up the beautiful city of Toronto, they only cared about money, but who could blame them, either way you looked at it, the entire world was a big shit hole.

A creak jerked the young man from his thoughts. The door at the end of the room was being opened and shut, but he made no motion to ask who it was, nor did he care.

"Tsuzuki san," whispered the voice, and the only emotion that was truly separable was seduction, pure, loving, seduction.

"You haven't eaten at all since we left, come on, you need some sustenance," exclaimed the older male. He was tall and had silver locks, which covered a grotesque right eye. His cloths were also white, a white clock hung over his arm. He wore a pair of white jeans with a white long sleeved shirt; blue flames went up his sleeves and joined in the middle of his chest.

"I bought you some cloths so you can fit in with the humans," he said sitting on the side of the bed.

"There so loud, I don't know why they can't just shut up, I wish the cry's would just…stop," Tsuzuki exclaimed in a monotone voice. He shifted in the blankets, slightly curling into a ball.

"Yes Tsuzuki san, this is why we came here, to siphon all their sufferings, concerns, worries…you and me together my dear," The older male punctured a small hole in his wrist and held it in front of Tsuzuki. "Know then, drink and gain strength, you will need it."

Tsuzuki stared as a few drops of blood trickled off; he positioned himself so they fell into his mouth. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, before lowering the other mans wrist to his lips, he licked the wound at first, two pearly white fangs protruded themselves from the corners of his lips, and with a swift movement, he sank them in, sucking violently on the opening.

"That's right my Dearest, drink, don't worry, Muraki shall take care of you," he said, cringing at the immense pleasure he felt, mixed with the pain. 'Only a miner detail' he would tell himself.

* * *

**Earlier that day**

"Hisoka, hey Hisoka, Hisoka!" cried a young girl. A person twitched at the call of his name, he was sitting on the ground against a gate, probably to the large school that sat to his left. A cigarette peeked out of the side of his mouth. He opened one eye in response to the girl's cries.

"What do you want Tsubaki?" the young boy sighed, he was quite tall, and beautiful to match. He had dirty blonde locks that shaded his emerald eyes. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a yellow long sleeved shirt; a jean jacket lay on the ground beside him. He started flicking the flame decorated lighter in his hand absentmindedly as he watched the girl run up to him.

The young girl stopped in front of him, panting furiously. She had a short black hair. She wore a short black skirt and a navy blue t-shirt. Her features were round, and a little childish. "What do you mean 'what do you want?' your supposed to walk me home today, like teacher said so!" she exclaimed, slightly miffed.

"Heh well I usually don't go home so I don't see the point of taking you down my street and dropping you of next door," he said, putting out the cigarette in his hand.

"I'll tell your mother!" she yelled.

He sighed and stood to his full height, he ignored the young girl and picked up his stuff. He put a hand on her mouth, "listen, I'll take you home I you just stop okay Tsubaki, but you should know by now why I don't want to go home," he removed his hand and started to walk in their direction.

Tsubaki ran up to him, "your fathers back eh?" she said giving him a sideways glance. "Ya, and he gets to see my report card, he also gets to piss of mom which means more beating and more Fuckin trips to the hospital."

"Jeez…I didn't…" she trailed of staring at her feet as they walked. Hisoka noticed this and turned his attention to the black clouds that loomed overhead, "forget it Tsubaki, I'll be alright, I'm still alive aren't I?"

"Ya…you should tell someone you know!" she said stopping in front of him.

He stared down at her and put a hand on his neck, "do you really think they would believe me, oh ya I can see that 'hey officer, my dad beats me, you know the most best cop in the service, he does it to take the edge of so my parents can have more sex. My mom also beats me, ya the greatest woman boxer, boy she's got a painful punch.' Give it up already Tsubaki, no one will believe me, if I had a choice I would rather just fade out of existence." He walked passed her and continued on his way.

"But I…" Tsubaki whispered to herself, she turned around and followed after him.

* * *

**Present**

Tsuzuki sat on the windowsill of his apartment, sniffing around; he could smell blood in the air. He focused in on the smell; he used his acute hearing to listen.

"You stupid little boy, what the fuck were you thinking, look at these marks, your failing gym because you never show up, no boy of mine will be like that!"

Slap

"I wasn't thinking dearest dad…"

Slap

"Don't talk back you little fuck tard, I know you can do better!"

Crash

"Listen to your father Hisoka!"

"I guess you guys know what's best for me huh…"

"Damn right we do son…"

"Oh well sorry then my great advisor."

Laughter filled Tsuzuki's head; it was pained laughter, mixed with hate.

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki whispered to himself.

"I shall have the one they call Hisoka," he licked his lips and grinned wickedly to himself.

* * *

**Rei's corner**

**Rie**: Tsuzuki is so, hot, bwah, evil

**Tsuzuki**: I worked hard on my lines

**Hisoka**: I am really punk

**Rei**: YESH!

**Muraki**: I am going to be bastard again huh?

**Rei**: sadly, you may become one

**Muraki**: that sucks

**Rei**: ne way I guess I shall explain

**3 o them**: k

**Rei**: well that was fun; at the start there will either be lyrics or poems adorning the fic. The fact is that I listen to a lot of music, so I felt like putting up lyrics. If you have any questions about this fic, don't hesitate to ask.

I got the idea for this because my sis and me have been watching to many Buffy episodes (she has the complete collection.) The plot will also kind of be like 'Interview with a vampire'. I also added in the diary bit for my own personal satisfaction. I may put more diary entries if anyone would like more?

Well that's it for the first chapter. Hope you liked! Read and Review please.

Sincerely Rei


	2. I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all

Don't own

* * *

**Review Responses**

**Amethyst-eyed Koneko**: ha, it is interesting neh? Interview was an awesome movie. I also liked Queen of the damned. Angel was a good series, the last episode sucked though…but it didn't ruin the series

**Daisuke Captain Oblivious**: lol thanks for your enthusiasm. I like to see that in my reviewers! I love Buffy, The last season I hated though. She became all mope and... Just not Buffy!

**Eternity's Heir**: whoa, you're the first person to actually comment on the lyrics and Diary bit. I am so happy you liked them. I really love music, and I wanted to express that with my readers. As for the diary, it's kind of like in queen of the damned. But Tsuzuki has like Angel or Angelus. Accept he's all Angel good guy first, then angelus mean evil guy after, reversed. Hisoka being a punk was just a must see. I always think of him as a punk. I watched the series in Japanese and loved it. I didn't see the last episode though. I am waiting until I get the English box set!

* * *

_Don't know what's going on  
Don't know what went wrong  
Feels like a hundred years I  
Still can't believe you're gone  
So I'll stay up all night  
With these bloodshot eyes  
While these walls surround me with the story of our life_

_I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever_

_Now things are coming clear  
And I don't need you here  
And in this world around me  
I'm glad you disappeared  
So I'll stay out all night  
Get drunk and fucking fight  
Until the morning comes I'll  
Forget about our life_

_I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever_

_First time you screamed at me  
I should have made you leave  
I should have known it could be so much better  
I hope you're missing me  
I hope I've made you see  
That I'm gone forever_

_And now it's coming clear  
That I don't need you here  
And in this world around me  
I'm glad you disappeared_

_I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever_

_"Gone forever" by Three Days Grace_

**Forget about the life I use to know**

**Chapter 2**

**I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**

Date, 1816 September 7

We are now in Tibet, near a mountain range called the Himalayas, as I have studied the English map that he gave me. I have tried to prolong the urge to 'feed' on another being. He says that I shouldn't and that I am not going to survive if I don't. Just thinking about the blood makes me feel disgusted, in a sick sense I also want it more then anything I have ever wanted.

Peace seems to be far from anything I ever think about any more, maybe I am just wasting my time here. I need some darkness…but I can't accept that I want her blood; I want to hear her veins pumping that crimson syrup as it flows like ecstasy into my mouth. She is this woman I saw. I want her, but Muraki says I must first lure her in. Become her friend, I would rather die then know my food. That is the true nightmare that every human being has. To know their food, to speak with them, to listen to their problems and console, sometimes I forget though, I am not human…

I have learned that her name is Carmen. She apparently escaped from an Island called Australia. She says that she was a prisoner being kept there. She was falsely convicted on certain harsh circumstances. Apparently this 'Australia' is like a jail for everyone who has committed treason or murder. Psychotic people are also held at the Island. She says it was like living in hell.

I became suspicious of her, so I used my dark gift to read her thoughts. I found that she lied about the circumstances why she was sent to literal hell. She was convicted of killing her husband in cold blood, which she did so, with no regrets or morals. She pleaded to the court that he was sleeping with another woman. Which he wasn't? She killed him for the matter that he just wasn't good at sex anymore, and he was boring her after 10 years. Again I wonder how such women can live with themselves? Even in life I never killed anyone. Yes I ridiculed other boys when I was a child, and got ridiculed myself, but to kill is a true sin against god and our savior. But how can I compete, I am a living sin.

She asked me what I have doing in Tibet. I said that we were traveling novelists and that we write our information in Diary's such as this one. She asked me if she could come and see what I have written so far. I said yes…that was the biggest mistake of my death.

I led her to my room and rifled around for this Diary. On the cover of this Diary it says "Chishio". She asked me what is meant; her being all-English didn't understand my language. I explained it to her and she just said "what a dreary name". Dreary…I suppose it is. I won't be winning any big awards with a title like that on my hellish bible. I don't anticipate anyone to read these passages nonetheless.

She read up to about the two hundredth page, I think. And started to ask me what I meant by that. I wasn't paying attention. She was thin and had the most beautiful dip in her chest. I could hear her heart pumping slowly, steadily, like a smoothly carved drum. I couldn't contain myself. That night…I took her life. I had no remorse; I so much desired that blood like it was my own.

When I had awoken the next morning I was, appalled. I stared at her limp body for who knows how long. He came in and held me. Telling me the first 'real' kill is the worst. But I will get use to it.

How can I get used to…that! It's so disgusting, and pleasurable at the same time. I feel at odds with my inner being. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel pained and confused. Why is this so hard? Is it not what he said, am I truly supposed to have no feelings for a life rather then my own existence. I…don't know…

I need to know

Asato, Tsuzuki

Translated from original text, entry 203 of 215. Diary of Tsuzuki Asato, Birth in 1790, died in 1814 A.D, July 6. Owned by the supernatural department agency of Canadian History.

* * *

Hisoka watched his finger as it went round and round, making a small circle in the dusty floor. He lay, curled into a ball. Fresh bruises and cuts could be seen protruding from his skin. His eyes seemed hollow. The cement floor was cold and hurt the still bleeding cut on his arm. His lips were swollen. He looked up to the only window in the basement. It was small but let in just enough light so Hisoka could see around him. The basement was a bare dank and musty place. It always seemed to get dustier every time his parents locked him up. 

It wasn't the fact that he was cold and uncomfortable or that he was verbally and physically in pain. It was the fact that his parent's room was overhead of him. It was the fact that he could hear them creaking on the old bed. Their horrible moans seeping through the floor. It was the fact that he was here, alone, while they fucked each other's brains out upstairs. That his pain was their pleasure. That was what killed him the most. That is why he sat their drawing circles in the dust.

Hisoka felt unloved, and uncared for since he could remember. He was like a stress ball. Accept he knew his limits. He would never tell them that though, he would never admit defeat. Because if they knew how much pain they truly inflicted on him, they could hurt him all the more.

He sighed and sat up. Last night when he was thrown down the stairs his parents threw his bag at him. At least they were stupid enough to give him some relaxation. He unzipped the bag and pulled out bandages, antiseptic, and a lot of band-aids. He slipped of his shirt revealing old scars and cuts from beating before. He started to smother antiseptic over his body. He cringed as he touched the one on his shoulder. He whipped the dried blood of with a water bottle that he thankful hadn't of thrown out the day before. He started to wrap his arms in bandages and slipped a gym shirt on that he never used. It was green with a low collar.

He rifled through his bag. There he found a small bag of chips and opened it. He munched down on a couple of salty potatoes and went back to his search through his bag. An Mp3 was nestled in a small pocket to the back. He turned it on and looked through the various songs. There was Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Good Charlotte, Staind, Blink 182, Sum 41, BNL, Nickelback, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and a lot of songs Tsubaki had downloaded. He decided to check out one of the random songs that she downloaded. He pressed the small button and the screen read "Abused and Belittled – Buckets of rain".

A slow drumbeat started to play as an electric guitar could be heard picking up the drums. The song became louder and harder. It started to become a rock song. And the lyrics spewed out into Hisoka's head.

"Maybe if I was cool, I wouldn't be their tool. Maybe if I were Hard, they wouldn't catch me off guard. Maybe if I were right, they wouldn't wrong me. Because I am finding out that things don't go my way."

A guitar started to become more aggressive and angry, as if a beast was screaming.

"If I did everything, maybe they wouldn't taunt me. I can't understand, why they slap my hand (Why they slap my hand) they throw me down the stairs. These metal bars seem to show home much they care. Were are they coming from?"

The young girls voice was deep and had true meaning to it, as if she was confessing her life.

"Would it make you happy, if I was you? (Would it?) Would it change what I really knew (not likely) I don't know whom your preaching to! (Cause I am not listening) I don't know were this is all leading (To a dark hollow shell?) Did I ever have a choice for a different life (Love and caring) Have I ever seen the sun shine? (Cause I can't remember) Will you ever hear this sorrowful rhyme (This is my heart) I am telling you again…

His heart felt heavy. 'Who is this song about?' he thought.

"Did you every know…that I was alone?"

"Will you ever care, how far I have fallen?"

It felt like it wasn't their song; it felt like they were retelling his life!

"Did you know, I'm belittled…and abused."

Hisoka threw the head phones off. He stared at the Mp3 and scowled. That song was to close to home for him to enjoy it. Even if it was a good song…

* * *

Tsuzuki sighed. It was another restless day. He held onto Muraki tightly as he cringed. The room they were sleeping in was big. It was in the basement of an abandoned apartment. He kept hearing a song ringing in his head, and fear. It was disturbing his sleep. 

"Shhhh its just a dream my love. Just a dream, ignore it," soothed Muraki. He held Tsuzuki close to his body. He stroked Tsuzuki's hair and kissed his forehead. "Would you like to go hunting tonight? Find a young boy?" cooed Muraki.

At the mentioning of the hunt, Tsuzuki remembered the boy, 'Hisoka' he thought. Thinking about him soothed his nerves and he slowly began to sleep. Scooting closer to the source of comfort…Muraki.

"That's right, relax. Sleep Tsuzuki san." Muraki sighed. And joined Tsuzuki in the world of sleep. Its not like they needed sleep, their cells had died a long time ago. It made no difference. The only reason they slept was because of the sun, it was their mortal enemy. If a 'sinner', as Muraki called them, were to bask in the sun. They would burn into ashes and float away in the wind.

For some unknown reason, Tsuzuki dreamed about Hisoka. But it wasn't weird that it was Hisoka he was dreaming about. It was the dream in itself. As long as Tsuzuki had been reborn, he had never dreamt once. It was as if he lost all of his imagination in the transition.

The dream was in a forest, it was in Japan. His homeland. The trees were blooming beautifully and everything was serene. He was walking in the sunlight. Letting the rays fall on his long dead skin.

He could see Hisoka. For his 'gift' was enabling him to infiltrate the boys mind. He could see Hisoka sitting on the floor, naked, with scars all over his small frame. Tsuzuki bent down to lift Hisoka's face…Hisoka looked up and his eyes were blood shot. Fangs stuck out of his mouth and he lunged for Tsuzuki. He caught onto him and started drinking his blood. Tsuzuki collapsed into Hisoka's arms.

* * *

When Tsuzuki awoke the that night he was breathing heavily and blood tears streamed down his face. He held his knees and cried softly, in the basement, of that old apartment…

* * *

**Rei's corner**

**Rei**: I enjoyed that

**Tsuzuki**: I wasn't in it much

**Rei**: I know, I am sorry!

**Tsuzuki**: okay

**Hisoka**: The lyrics to the song were good. Did you write them yourself Narrator Sama?

**Rei**: yes I did, it took awhile for me to think up good lyrics.

**Hisoka**: nice

**Rei**: heh thanks.

**Muraki**: did I sense Tsuzuki fluff?

**Rei**: ya, but you'll only get him a little, so poo you

**Muraki**: damn…

**Tsuzuki**: oh and "Chishio" means Blood

**Rei**: explanation's again

**3 o them**: k!

**Rei**: This one was a fun chapter to compose; actually, I am becoming very attached to this story, its really cool. And for all you U.S.A. people. Toronto is in Ontario. No I don't live in Toronto, I am Canadian though. I have a friend, Car, who visits Toronto. He says some parts are just shit holes. Kind of like north New York state.

I am going to make a cool list of songs for the char because its fun!

Tsuzuki – Sacrifice by Tatu/Behined blue eyes by Limp Bizkit

Hisoka – Crawling in the dark by Hoobastank/So far away by Staind

Muraki – Riot by Three Days Grace/One way ticket to hell…and back by The Darkness

Hope you liked it. Read and Review

Sincerely Rie


End file.
